Confessions of A Blanket Lover

'Blanket Lover' by Carisa Miller

I will be thirty five years old in two weeks and I still sleep with my baby blanket.

If you can even call it a blanket anymore. Rather, it is a piece of faded yellow waffle fabric, full of holes, lined in shredded satin. As a child, I found comfort in rubbing the silky border of my blanket between my first two fingers. When I wore the edge off, my mother replaced it with new ribbon. This act of sacrilege was reversed after much screaming and persuasion on my part to restore the trim to its original state. My blanket has not been altered since.

In charge of nightly monster warding when I was little, my blanket has long since retired to serve simply as a cover over my eyes and ears while I sleep. Its duty could be easily performed by any t-shirt, but I absolutely prefer my tattered blanket. It has a pleasing texture, a nice weight and the perfect amount of childhood magic.

Fondness for my blanket being what it is, I hoped my children would experience similar bonds. Without suggestion, my firstborn took to hers with all the force that love for an inanimate object could conjure. Which is to say, a tremendous amount. My second child, just beginning to show signs of attachment to hers, is much helped by her sister’s insistence that every difficult, delightful or average moment in time is best met with a blanket. Feeling sleepy? Playing with some blocks? I just shoved you and took your dolly? Here, let me get your blanket. Big sisters are the best.

Our preschooler’s blanket lives by her side. They laugh, cry, play, dance, travel and make trips to the bathroom together. When she is hurt, her plush, brown rectangle of joy is the first thing she calls out for. When her parents are unfair, it is her only friend. Blankie will never insist she wear pants or finish her dinner. It takes her exactly as she is (naked and hungry).  It will never let her down; will always be exactly what she expects.

Over the course of her three and a half years, her blanket has been called 'Bochie’, ‘Bocky’ and ‘Blankie’. These names are reflective of her progression in speaking ability. There was also a brief phase during which the blanket went by ‘Lisa’. The origins of which, cannot be accounted for.

It is easy to understand how children form bonds with the snuggly item that remains when everyone else has left the room at night. Blankets are intended as givers of warmth and comfort and they do not disappoint. They also make great capes, hobo satchels, fake hair and spreads for a picnic. With your blanket handy, you always have something to hide under and the makings for a game of peek-a-boo.

As you can see, I make an attractive display while sleeping. Should my husband choose to glance upon his slumbering bride, he sees only my face from nose to chin from under a pile of pale yellow rag. Hopefully, this image serves as a positive reminder that he chose wisely to marry the fool girl who isn't ashamed to sleep with her baby blanket on her head (or confess it to the Internet).  


Comments...

Jessi

01/23/13

I am so glad there is another adult that still has her blankie! Sadly my original has long turned to some quilting fluff and scraps of flannel in a pillow case that lives in my dresser. It was later replaced by my favorite duvet cover, that I still wrap myself into every night. Harry hasn't taken to any given blanket of his own, but is often stealing mine. I think because it was at his birth and we were both found wrapped in it after, and still! And you are right, you should count yourself blessed when even though Matt complains about his mummy wrapped wife next to him in bed, yet at bed time he is the one to remember to grab it from the couch were it was being used to hide under during the scary parts of the movie.

Megan

09/12/2014 3:37pm

LOVED READING THIS. I'm 32 years old, married and pregnant with my first child. I have slept with my baby blanket since I was born. Its name is Softy and it still has my favorite edge that I rub between my fingers. My husband thinks it's weird especially when we are reading before bed and I ask him to rub it too (he does). Ha. Softy has moved across the world and back but always in my backpack. I could not stand to lose it!

Carisa

01/23/2013 10:26am

If nothing else comes of this whole writing business of mine, it will have been worth it to learn with each post that I write, that we are more like sisters than cousins. I just love you!

Stacy C

02/21/2013 1:18pm

Waffle fabric. Missing satin trim. Pink. Had it since I was little, still in my bed to this day. Though more of a supplemental pillow, and eye cover for me too, when my husband is reading and I want to sleep.. =)

Carisa Miller

02/21/2013 2:44pm

I think it is brave thing we're doing here, sharing our blanket love with the world. I hope others are inspired by your admission. Thank you Stacy.

Julie B.

08/09/2014 6:17pm

There is a whole generation of us out there with this same blanket I think! Lol Mine is the thermal (waffle) fabric, silk edges that are long gone, sage green. I'm almost 25 and I'm hoping it will last forever even though it has holes all over the place. My Granny bought it for me when I was born and my Mom asked for a second one almost immediately when she saw how attached I was. She would swap them out when the one I was carrying at the time would get dirty because I hated being without it. Eventually I figured out that there were two of them and began carrying them BOTH around. This continued until 5th grade when I had a sleepover with a friend. I got ketchup on one of my blankies and her parents took it to the laundry room to be washed. Somehow it got left there by mistake...I think it involved an argument with my friend. When I realized it wasn't in my bag that evening at bedtime we called over to ask her parents about it....turns out my "friend" was mad and threw it in the trash that had already been picked up. I'm sure you fellow blankie lovers can understand the horror of realizing I was never getting it back. I never spoke to her again...even though I had 2, somehow they were just always kinda 1 blankie to me. I would scrunch them up into one big blankie ball and carry them around or sling one over each shoulder. I remember being so sad because I was able to cover my whole body with 2, but not with just the 1...I even had a hard time sleeping because the size of blankie was different when I snuggled down to sleep at night. 

Anyways...I know some people might say adults are too old for a blankie, but I've never felt ashamed of mine and, like you, I hope my children will love a blankie like mine one day. :)

Ellen

02/26/2013 10:08am

I have mine as well. Though, it's blankie #1. My first was pink with the satin trim that I loved to touch (still do). My mom destroyed it by ripping off the satin one day when I was around 8. I still remember finding it and crying as if my dog had died. She replaced it with a yellow blankie with the satin. Hubs and I will be watching TV and I'll be playing with that blanket. 

I am 38. No shame.

Carisa Miller

02/26/2013 10:28am

While I feel secure in myself and my blanket love enough to have written this in the first place, posting it made me feel particularly vulnerable. I figured I was setting myself up for quite a bit of ridicule. Conversely, this comment stream has turned into a delightful confessional. Thank you Ellen!

Paul

12/05/2013 10:14am

Going through some rough times and suddenly remembered how much I missed my blankie 45 yrs after it was taken away. Found a new one at the department store and I sleep with it every night. I cut about 2" by 6" off one corner adn carry it in my pocket. A little crazy, but it really is a wonderful feeling to lay down with my cheek on the flannel and rub the satin trim between my thumb and index finger.

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 10:14am

Crazy? Pshaw! Sounds like a healthy soothing technique to me.

Chelsea

01/20/2014 9:18am

I stumbled upon this doing a google search on a quirk of mine. I'm glad i did because i thought i might be alone in this. I'm 27 and although i lost my childhood blankie long ago (currently i use a favorite comforter from college) i still have a habit of rubbing the blanket between fingers when I'm in bed. Thanks for this blog!

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 10:15am

You are definitely NOT alone. Thank you for stopping by!

Jean

02/01/2014 10:54am

The woman who made my blankie when I was born made a blankie for my son the year he was born. Now, my daughter sleeps with her monkey... and my old blankie. This was lovely, Carisa.

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 10:13am

That's sweet. The blanket my youngest uses was knit by a friend. It makes it extra special.

Martha

02/14/2014 11:28pm

Stumbled across this while trying to find out if blankies are normal. I have had a blankie since I was born. I moved around the globe with it, always had it with me. It never flew in checked baggage ever, always in my purse. I am VERY attached to it. When my daughter was born, I used it to help her transition from my bed to hers. I intended it to be only one or two nights, but she became so attached to it that it couldn't leave the bed. Now she has taken it from me, torn it to pieces, (I have all the pieces and keep them in my nightstand) and I am now having anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Has anyone tried this? And how normal/abnormal is it to feel this way?

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 10:18am

I am definitely not an expert on attachment, but I assume there are varying degrees. I'm sorry not to have seen your comment earlier. I hope you have worked through this and found relief. Take care!

Mel

03/05/2014 6:37pm

I too found this searching my quirk. I am 32 and it used to be the satin blanket edges now it is a bright orange swatch that I have rolled into a point and I rub it on my face or between my fingers

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 10:11am

I get steady traffic to this post from people doing Google searches. Its seems a source of comfort to many. (Not Google searches. Well, that too I guess.)

Sabrina

05/06/2014 11:25am

So glad I'm not alone in this.....as a child I would rub the silky edging of my blanket as a soothing motion when I was upset or sleepy...years go by and although my blanket is long gone...i still have the silky material found in sleeping bags and jacket linings....ive gone through several coats to find that material again....Im 34 now and have several pieces stashed in various places. I always thought I'd eventually give it up...but its not a dangerous habit to have and it doesn't cost much.

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 10:20am

I don't think loving on a piece of soft fabric even made the list of dangerous habits. : )

Melissa

06/30/2014 3:56pm

Oh my gosh you guys! I am not alone!!! I am almost 40 and I am sleeping with the same tattered rag remains of my baby blanket as well. I sucked my thumb until I was 12 using a favorite corner of my blanket sewn lovingly by my great grandma and great aunt. It used to be light green on one side and white with a light green circle in the middle of the other side. The circle was ringed with embroidered animals. Now all the edges have almost torn off all sides, my beloved corner is a piece of a patch that was put on by my grandma and the animals that ringed the circle are long gone. I still smell it, although it can rarely be washed, lay it over my eyes for sleeping and just generally hold it for comfort. My daughter has taken up my love of blankets and one day looked at my blanket and asked "mom what did you DO to your blanket?" Loved it honey....love it to pieces.

Carisa Miller

06/30/2014 4:00pm

I love, "..loved it to pieces." Yay for blankets! (What a bunch of weirdos, huh? : ) )

Megan

07/04/2014 9:38pm

Love this :) I'm 28 years old and still sleep with my tattered white baby blanket, 'Snowy'. She's basically a rope now, tied in knots with many holes but she completes me and my husband thinks she's cute <3

Katie

07/19/2014 2:17pm

I'm reading through these posts and feeling so tender toward all of the blankie lovers out there! I am 30 and have slept with a blankie my entire life. I just recently went to a work conference and folded it into my pillow. For some inexplicable reason housekeeping too my pillow and now my blankie is lost in the hotel and it's been 5 days and they can't find it. I'm so sad and I'm not even sure how to go about going on the rest of my life without it. It was a cotton quilt and there was a specific fabric that was so worn and like I liked to rub that part. Help! Also: DO NOT ever stay at a Marroitt hotel, they don't care

Melissa

07/20/2014 7:24am

I would DIE! I have done that same thing, stuffing my blanket into a pillow case. Seriously I am having blanket anxiety FOR YOU right now. There is no replacing the time and love we have given to these tattered pieces of material. I wish you good luck and I am praying to St Anthony for the safe return of your blanket.

Megan

10/02/2014 9:14pm

My worst fear! I take my blankie with me everywhere! I wish you all the luck in the world :(

Morgan

08/03/2014 10:46pm

I am so incredibly relieved. I was just go ogling my situation to see if it was normal to be so attached to an object & I came across this awesome blog with encouraging comments. 
Background: I had a blanket when I was little with crocheted edges that I would rub with my fingers to comfort myself. I had two bc I needed a replacement and still keep the pieces of both in a drawer at my mom's house. 
Current situation: About 6 years ago I became attached to a pillow case. I have become very very attached to this pillow case that I now call "squishy". My fiancé thinks that it's not normal or healthy to have something like this at 28 years old. She wants me to get rid of it but the thought of it brings me to tears. It's very tattered with most of the edges being rubbed off and holes from washing it but it's so soft, cool, and comforting. 

I'm so happy that I'm not the only one my age that has an attachment to a blanket & that it's not abnormal. Can't wait to show her this blog! Maybe it will help her gain perspective.